Posted by: Yvonne Meek | August 16, 2017

caged birds …

interesting realization this morning … i am like my birds … trapped in a cage, frantically flying around in it trying to find a spot, trying to escape or settle to no avail …
 
sentient beings long for meaning and purpose … the Word of God in Proverbs 29:18 says … “Where there is no vision*, the people perish*: but (s)he that keeps the law, happy is (s)he.” *some versions use “prophecy”, “revelation” or “hope” for “vision” and “cast off restraint” rather than “perish”.
 
the passage implies that when an individual has no direction, no hope, or no promise they become unrestrained or perish.  experiencing such despair can cause people to do things they normally wouldn’t when they have the hope of a promise, etc.  the passage closes with “but happy are those who keep the law.”  … i believe this passage directs me to seek out the guidance of the law (Word) of God on how to live my days for God’s law is love and perfect peace.
 
i am an imperfect follower of Jesus the Messiah … i am confident in that.  i am not despairing … i have so many blessings it would be ungrateful to my God to feel otherwise.  i am certain that Jesus died for me, took my place on that humiliating cross as judgment for my sins.  he saved me, forgave me, and loved me … and he continues to forgive, restore, heal, love, and use me even though i am truly unworthy.
 
but … this, my journey, is difficult … i have lost my purpose, my hope, my direction.  i am a singer without a voice or a song.  i am a songwriter who cannot find or express the music in my heart because it hides from me.  i am a writer without a message yet burdened by so much.  i have tried … and tried again … then a few more times.
i am broken.  i am purposeless.  i feel too intensely, think too deeply, and take so much too personally.  and yet, i cannot heap up for myself teachers who preach a false gospel of positivity, health or wealth.  nor can i run to pop-psychologists who offer the wisdom of men or the darkness of mysticism and eastern philosophies to soothe a troubled heart, mind and soul that God created.
instead, in this hopefully brief season, i will run to God and take refuge in his strong tower.  i will walk by faith through this darkness.  i will hide in Jesus until he carries me into the light.
i will trust in the walls of my ‘castle’ … i will find a perch, a sunny corner … and try my best to sing … again

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