Posted by: Yvonne Meek | April 29, 2012

hopeful beginnings … finishing well

i want to finish well …

not that i expect to leave this life anytime soon but i’ve been thinking alot these days about the point of my existence.  i have many friends who love to give the common trite answers but i’ve never been able to accept those answers so easily.

i began my ‘spiritual’ journey in 1986 with a ‘radical’ conversion to Christianity.  true, i grew up Catholic, baptized, communioned, and confirmed with eight years of parochial school under the strict hands of Carmelite nuns, followed by another four years in a private Catholic high school.  i am thankful for the upbringing though.  i think it keeps me from doing many things i might want to do but am really afraid to do …. and that can be both good and bad.

i have believed since very early in my life that i was created specifically to sing.  as a young girl, of course, i had dreams of being famous but fear seemed to rule my life so i didn’t pursue as i could or should have.  i always felt a little lost, waiting for someone to take me by the hand and lead me or walk with me.  i don’t mean do it for me but i never wanted to go it alone … i was really scared.

after that radical conversion, my love for singing could not be denied.  i joined my church choir, formed an acapella vocal jazz group, was invited to sing on our church praise band/team, and excitedly settled into a life i had never really imagined.  i did love my single life which was for the most part, committed to ministry and music.  i did not want to compete with anyone for a title or position, i sincerely only wanted to be in that perfect place of doing what i was certain i was created to do.  and somewhere in the middle of this journey, i wasn’t quite so afraid anymore.  there is a confidence that emerges when we feel certain that God is orchestrating our lives for His good.  there is a confidence in God that emerges when He is our sole companion and we cling to Him for our life, breath, and hope.  it isn’t desparate.  it isn’t weak.  it is peaceful, calm, sure, powerful … like the calm experienced in the eye of a storm.

but that was over 25 years ago …  i would love to say that i have been completely faithful to everyone on this journey, most of all God, but i cannot.  i do however, know that i am loved by Him and am forgiven by Him even before i ask.  i also know that i did begin this journey well though i have been sidetracked and detoured many times.  i am also 100% certain that nothing is 100% certain until it has passed, except for the unending, relentless love that God has for me.

and i am certain that i want to finish well … whenever that finish may be.  i want to live in the truth of my creation fulfilliing who God created me to be.  i want to live beyond my fears, opening doors placed before me, stepping through to fulfill my destiny.  i want to resurrect my hopes and dreams of music and quite possibly, of ministry.  i want to cling to the promises that gave me a future and a hope.  i do not mean to simply settle for an eternal future … that’s almost too easy.

the challenge is living out that hope on a daily basis.  living out the the belief that God has created me to be andn to do … to live fully and passionately in this lifetime.  to live an abundant life.  to cling to Him for each breath, walking with Him, not waiting for anyone else to accompany me but to do His will for me.  to live in the now and …

… to finish well


Responses

  1. Good morning. I just found your site and you touch on a most important issue. To finish well; to look steadfastly to Jesus with our affections on that which is eternal. To not allow anyone or anything in this life to caue us to become sidetracked. To engage in works which will follow us into eternity.

    Thanks for sharing a piece of your story. I was saved in 1983. I was likewise a miraculous moment without which I cannot even imagine where I would be today.

    Blessings always in Jesus name.

    timbob


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